Beauty

I always find it interesting that, regardless of what a female gamer does, the responses to her sometimes fall into negativity. I almost always have my avatar as a picture of myself. I actually find that I get less flak for having a picture of myself as my avatar than I do when I don't. If I don't, a few will relentlessly declare that I am fat and ugly for my playing video games. It can't be that I love gaming for the sake of gaming. To these few, I game for the attention I receive as a "gurl gamer". It doesn't matter if I happen to be good at the game that I'm playing. I'm making up for a lack of attention that I desire to have in real life.

Ironically enough, this doesn't happen nearly as much if I happen to have a picture of myself as my avatar. To the few that still declare me to be fat and ugly, I simply direct them to my profile and tell them that it is up to themselves to decide whether it be true or not. I simply don't care what they think. That is generally sufficient to silence them. Yet, inevitably, there will be the response that, because I am attractive, I have a picture of myself up to get attention. Yes, it really is a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Just between the two, I get more peace with a picture of myself as my avatar than I do without.

I suppose I could put a picture of myself up where my hair is undone, without any makeup at all (I don't wear much to begin with), and clad in the baggiest clothes imaginable. I've sort of done that in the past where, after being sick with a literal bloody cough (courtesy of swine flu lung damage) and on a whim, I snapped a shot of myself fevered complete with crazy bedhead. The response was hilarious from my friends and, surprisingly enough, the few that attacked me for being a female gamer actually were sympathetic in the end. Apparently, looking like a slob is what these few want probably because it confirms the stereotype of a female gamer in their mind of a slob at the helm. If that's not me, however, then why should I have to put a picture up of me at my worst to gain acceptance and peace in game?

I'd rather be a thorn in a stereotype's side than feed it even if it means that I'll suffer some verbal abuse. There is no stereotype for the female gamer based simply on what she has in her profile. Yes, some of us may act slutty and be playing for attention but there are plenty of others who play for the love of the game. Just as some males who play may fit the precise physical stereotype of a nerd, there are plenty of others who do not. I would rather be me any day than just another stereotype. If a woman has beauty, she should not have to hide it and to display it is not a cry of attention. It's simply saying "this is me and accept it". There is a reason why feminists have an affection for Marilyn Monroe because she embraced who she was without apology.