Is living one's life at such a frenetic pace without taking the time for self-examination and reflection of where one is going good? I sincerely doubt it. I have no doubt that most would agree though. Some, however, would argue that they simply have no time at all for either of those things and view the ability to do either as a luxury. Yet, I challenge those who hold that latter view to stop and consider whether that point of view is actually true or not because I often imagine that it is most likely untrue. That somewhere in their lives, there are things that could be skipped for an hour or so whether it be not watching one's favorite television show or not spending that hour perusing posts about food, memes, or animal videos on Facebook. If such time exists, then why is it that it is not taken? Our lives are important so self-reflection should be on the top of the to-do list. Where am I going? What am I doing? What can I do better? Are these not important questions to ask oneself? Instead, I don't think it is actually that the time does not exist but that perhaps fear of asking oneself questions about the course of one's life can be a truly frightening prospect because it forces the asking of those very questions.
Years ago, I was just such a person who felt like they had to be doing something at all times. If one task was completed, well, there was another already lined up for me to start. Then came the dreadful day when I had just finished ironing the last shirt that needed to be ironed and as I was putting away the ironing board, the realization that I had nothing to do next struck me. I was suddenly terrified at the prospect of having free time in which my thoughts could freely run amok around my head because there was nothing left to do. My house was clean, my garden tended, the laundry was done. There were no dishes to be clean and my son was contentedly playing with his toys. So I stood there before my dryer, trembling, and had a panic attack. All because of a little thing called free time that led me to have that other thing called self-examination where I asked myself why the idea of thinking was so darn scary to me.
I knew why. It didn't take long to understand the reasons behind my fear and constant need to keep busy, to keep from thinking. I was unhappy at the current course of my life. I found myself in what I viewed as an abysmal situation where I was entrapped into a controlled way of life by my father, whom I worked for, and in a marriage that I knew was not working as neither my husband or I loved each other anymore. I sometimes joke that the reason why I got a divorce in the first place was because I ran out of ironing. It's pretty much true.
Self-examination can be frightening. It can highlight our flaws, our unhappiness in some aspect of our lives, and bring it all into razor sharp focus. As frightening as it may be though, we arguably have just one life to live and so, self-examination becomes absolutely pivotal. If we are breezing through life with the rate of a high speed train, are we then taking full advantage of this life or are we risking wasting that precious time where we could be making our lives or even ourselves a little bit better? Self-examination of oneself and one's course in life is important, especially in this world where everything seems to race by at the speed of light simply because it does. The busier that we are, the more packed our schedules are with that constant inflow, then the faster our lives pass before us until the day comes where our lives are no more. That should be reason enough to pause and reflect.
"I enter'd upon the Execution of this Plan for Self Examination, and continu'd it with occasional Intermissions for some time. I was surpris'd to find myself so much fuller of Faults than I had imagined, but I had the Satisfaction of seeing them diminish" --Benjamin Franklin, "The Art of Virtue"
